“How are you?”
Monday couldn’t come quick enough for me. Why? Because the weekend after chemo is dreadful. With every treatment my body experiences change. My fingernails and hands are turning black, my scalp is sensitive due to my hair thinning, legs are weak and I’m still dealing with the constant nausea. But, He handled it.
Finding out that I had lymphoma wasn’t a surprise to me. Every since I was a teenager, knowing cancer could be hereditary, I always thought I, out of all my siblings would get it. After the news, I was glad it was me and not my two sisters because they both have kids and one is married. I love my siblings, but I feel God chose me to “take one for the team.” God makes no mistakes.
I have a great support system that I’m extremely thankful for. I feel blessed that I have family and friends that care about my well being. Sometimes, I feel like I’m acting like my mother. When, people ask me “How are you?”or “What can I do for you?”, I answer with “I feel better than yesterday” or “Nothing, just keep praying!” I never understood why my mother used to tell people that, I’m gradually understanding. Just because Janele has cancer does not mean that everyone else stops living their life. And even if they are affected, it is just me and God on this journey. I can tell some one how I feel but, it won’t make a difference. Because, when I am alone at night, feel like I’m going to vomit, tossing & turning because I need to get comfortable or keep getting up to go to the bathroom, there is no one around to say “Janele, you can do it!” I call on Jesus, because he gives me the strength I need.
This morning, I was going through my phone looking at pictures. And I came across the note my dad put on our refrigerator last March. It was the first picture that popped up from March 2015. The song “God’s on your side” performed by Mississippi Mass Choir and Leandria Johnson, reminds me that I have to hold on don’t quit, God’s on my side, I don’t have to handle anything because God’s on my side. Regardless of your situation, hold on to your faith, trust in God, and believe because God is always on your side.
God allows trials in our lives not to impair us but to improve us.