So…Brazil Aug 8th

In two weeks, I’ll be headed to Rio for the Olympics with my siblings!! I’m extremely excited, this was the one thing that I focused on throughout treatment. You want to know if I’m cancer free. Well…. I’m not.

For the past 24 hours leading up to my doctor’s appointment today, I had a feeling that God wasn’t telling me I’m not through with you, yet. This morning, while in the shower, I was singing along with William Murphy  “It’s working,”I should’ve recorded myself because my vocals were on my point, hitting the ad-libs & all. Any who, in the middle of the song, I stopped and prayed that God’s will be done and that He prepares me for the news. I’m not sure why, I prayed and asked Him that, but I’m glad I did.

So, I arrive at the doctor’s office, go to the nurses to get my blood drawn and my port all of a sudden isn’t working. My nurse was working so hard, readjusting the needle, laying me back in the chair, and making my cough for about seven minutes so she could draw my blood. I closed my eyes and said Jesus, Jesus, Jesus and two seconds later it started working. Ah, ha I said to myself, that was God confirming that He had everything under control and to continue to trust Him. I’m in the room waiting on my doctor and she comes in with this sad look on her face. So, I said what happened? She reveals how disappointed she was because in the Pet scan, they found three new lymph nodes. After taking a deep breath to collect my thoughts, I asked her “What’s next?” Another biopsy, to make sure that we are not dealing with something different. All three nodes are under 2cm and in weird spots, plus all the original nodes are gone. (Thank you Jesus, small victories)

After that, I asked her if I could still go on my trip to Brazil, once she said “YES”, I was ecstatic. Lol If, she would’ve told me “NO,” I would’ve been really sad. But, God … 

Because I went to the doctor by myself (which I actually love it, I see why my mom did it) it was time to play telephone, lol I had to call Elton & my immediate family. Funny thing, is I called my mom too, by mistake while at the supermarket checking out. I reached for my debit card and then, I hear a voice coming from my phone. I look, it was my mother’s number saying her voicemail is full. I chuckled to myself because that was so weird, that was the first time since last April that I called her number. Come through again God, He knew what would get me through this day.

Like Christian said “Regardless of the outcome of the news today, it shouldn’t change what God has for you and how you trust Him.”   Very powerful and true, so profound I tell you. God is testing me and I will continue to stand on His word.

My blog will continue…in my mother’s words : “What can you do?”

Eyes on the Prize!

I smile, I rejoice, I worship, I lift my hands with gratitude, I feel blessed! Why? Because of God! Man, listennnnn….. I’m shaking my head and laughing while I write this because I’ve come a longggggg way. SIX months, SIX months, a half of year, two pregnancy trimesters, (haha) of treatments, doctor appointments, fatigue, nausea, confinement, restrictions, pain, minor surgeries, tests, biopsies in conjunction with prayers, meditation, faith, worship, rejoicing, singing, encouragement, and talks with God have come down to test day tomorrow. This PET Scan I take tomorrow will determine that the cancer is gone out og my body. (Claiming it already)

For, the first time in six months I am not prepping myself for another round of chemo. Wow, just wowww…. To look at my calendar and see there are no more treatments is astonishing. A difficult journey that I wouldn’t have survived without God. I, unapologetically give God, the glory any chance I get because without Him this journey would be purposeless. As I look back, I think about those times when, I had serious life & death, complications, my wishes conversations with Elton, Clarine, & Jaylen, thoughts of not seeing my 30th birthday, countless sleepless nights, self-enpowerment talks and I’m beyond grateful that God intervened each time. He used people, scriptures, memories, pictures and places to remind me that He is in control.

And even though, treatments are done I still have to keep my eyes on the prize. Still praying, having faith, believing that I will be declared CANCER FREE.

A well-needed detour. Remember there is always light at the end of the tunnel, there is always light after darkness, stay focused, stay strong, and stay obedient in Christ. Embrace and accept your circumstances because complaining and being bitter about it won’t change the outcome. BE BLESSED.

My oncology nurse Nelly, how appropriate!! My girl has been clutch. Thank you so much for your empathy, compassion, resourcefulness, encouragement and expertise. I’m extremely appreciative for holding me down for six months.

 

 

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18