One more! Yass, God!

This has been an emotional week for me filled with highs and lows.

From Father’s Day to Golden State Warriors losing the NBA Championship (I’m still not over it, so don’t dare bait me into another depressing convo) to my mother’s 58th birthday to Ava’s promotional ceremony(my niece/daughter who is graduating kindergarten today) to my second to last treatment today.

I woke up this morning (a blessing in itself) feeling blahh, Clarine stopped by my house to pick up my dad for Ava’s kindergarten graduation. Knowing that I could not make it, I mustered up enough energy to go see her off. Talk about proud parent moment, hmmphh this is my first born, I raised her up until she was 3 (thanks Clarine & Shawn), so seeing her put me in a better mood. Over the last few months, I have watched Ava deal with my illness in a manner indescribable. She has brought me flowers, gifts, took me to the Liberty game and pure joy. I’ve observed her after school come say Hi to me in my room and then leave to go upstairs to Jaylen’s room so, that she doesn’t “bother” me, creep around to not make so much noise, ask questions and listen intently about what Auntie Janele is going through and most importantly tell me Yaya loves me when I least expect it. And, even though she is five, she is very special and has no clue the magnitude of what her genuine acts of love & kindness has provided me. So, when I see her I try my best to keep a smile on my face. Congratulations Ava, I’m so proud of you and I love you. (Clarine, let her read this and help comprehend what I’m saying, lol)

Over the last two weeks, I have been dealing with low WBC(White Blood Cells) in which I received injections to boost the counts. We need our white blood cells to fight infections. I hate the injections not only do they hurt (Imagine a booster shot or meningitis shot) but, it makes my body vulnerable to muscle strains, sprains, aches. The injection is necessary because I refuse to be in someone’s hospital when I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. (Come on, SomeBody, Ain’t Nobody got time for that)

So,  June 20th, my mother’s birthday, was on time and necessary, it’s significance refocused me for these last two weeks. It symbolized not only the strength, faith, perseverance, trust, acceptance, hope, and patience of my mother but, how I applied those components of her on my own journey thus far. Pushing through, praying, keeping faith and trusting God was reiterated to me.

I felt compelled to write this, but there may be someone reading this, that may be going through something right now, you may feel like you can’t catch a break but, I just want to encourage you and tell you I have already prayed for you. All you need is faith, the size of a mustard seed, believe and have faith that His love, grace and mercy is sufficient enough to get you through. I love you all, be blessed, keep the faith, and live your life to the fullest.

One more treatment, two more weeks.

 

 

Life and Favor

Life and Favor – John P Kee & New Life

You don’t know my story..My story proves that God can use me….. One night in December before my diagnosis, a sharp pain in my chest woke me out my sleep, I was having trouble breathing. No one was around, so, I immediately started praying and talking to God because I thought I was dying. Fear never crossed my mind, only excitement because I thought at least I would see my mother again (funny, but not I would beat my family first, competitive folk we are). After about 10 mins, I realized that my preparations for death were just that and I didn’t see the “white light,” the pain became dull. Right there,  I envisioned my unexpected journey that God predestined for me. This was only the beginning . My relationship, faith, trust, bond, love for God strengthen that night because  He assured me that He will always be with me.

My mother told me about the time she saw the white light, it was right after her initial diagnosis of breast cancer in 1994. She said when the five of us(pre-Christian) were downstairs in my house probably with my Nana and alone in her bedroom, she cried and closed her eyes. She said she saw a white light with a hand pushed back, she immediately stopped crying and knew God wasn’t through with her. His work was just beginning, a miracle child and twenty years later God kept His word.

I remember telling Clarine and Elton the next day I thought I was dying, they both laughed it off. And said, why did you say that? I tried to convince them why I thought that, haha I mean it was before all my tests, right? A few weeks later, I received my diagnosis and after additional tests, the reason for my chest was before of a 3 cm lymph node in my chest and spots on my lungs, physically explained why I thought I was dying.

Fast forward six months later and after months of reflection, I recognized God used that night to say Janele, you are about to embark on a journey that I crafted just for you. I will use you to not only show you but those around you of my grace, mercy, love, and power. I am who I say am I, I am the same God that called your mother home. And now, I only have two more treatments left! Come on Somebody, from thinking I was dying to almost finishing this journey. Even though, it is not over yet,  I am certain that if I continue to pray, have faith and trust, worship, testify, share, be transparent, be patient during this journey that deliverance will be my ultimate testimony.

God is the master of turning burdens into blessings.