“Once, this treatment is over, the marks will disappear.”
There are so many times when I avoid looking in the mirror. Why? Because of the scars and big dark bruises all over my body. I bruise easily, so I had to tell my family that they couldn’t hit or touch me (you know when something is funny) because if they did, the next day their fingerprints were on me. It is mentally draining at times, I get disgusted but then, I remind myself that even though my physical is being temporarily destroyed by the chemo, my mind and spirit can’t and won’t be touched.
This woman next to me was experiencing complications because of clotting in her port(located in your chest allows for blood to be drawn and treatment). So, midway through she had to stop for about 30 mins to receive fluids to stop the clots. The look of anguish, tears and frustration reminded me of my mother, so I stopped my music and prayed for her. The nurse proceeded with drawing blood and after 15 mins , the nurse said “Thank you God, we got it.” We had a little praise session. God showed up on time, He reminded me of His grace through watching her. Confirmation.
During this difficult journey, God has continued to show up and show out. He always gives me a reminder when I least expect it. I find the beauty in how he does it, because He reveals His presence, even if you can’t see or touch Me, I still exist. After today, FOUR more treatments, therefore, I am praising Him now in advance for what He has done, is doing and going to do. 8 cycles down, 4 more to go.
“When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.” Psalm 94:18-19