4 More Left!

“Once, this treatment is over, the marks will disappear.”

20160512_113553

 

There are so many times when I avoid looking in the mirror.  Why? Because of the scars and big dark bruises all over my body. I bruise easily, so I had to tell my family that they couldn’t hit or touch me (you know when something is funny) because if they did, the next day their fingerprints  were on me. It is mentally draining at times, I get disgusted but then, I remind myself that even though my physical is being temporarily destroyed by the chemo, my mind and spirit can’t and won’t be touched.

This woman next to me was experiencing complications because of clotting in her port(located in your chest allows for blood to be drawn and treatment). So, midway through she had to stop for about 30 mins to receive fluids to stop the clots. The look of anguish, tears and frustration reminded me of my mother, so I stopped my music and prayed for her. The nurse proceeded with drawing blood and after 15 mins , the nurse said “Thank you God, we got it.” We had a little praise session. God showed up on time, He reminded me of His grace through watching her. Confirmation.

During this difficult journey, God has continued to show up and show out. He always gives me a reminder when I least expect it. I find the beauty in how he does it, because He reveals His presence, even if you can’t see or touch Me, I still exist. After today,  FOUR more treatments,  therefore,  I am praising Him  now in advance for what He has done, is doing and going to do. 8 cycles down, 4 more to go.

“When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.” Psalm 94:18-19

 

Mommy and Her girls!

How ironic is it that Mother’s Day falls on the 8th this year? One month, since my last blog. Whewww

Anywho, I woke up this morning, body fatigued, but feeling blessed. Even though, my mother is not physically here on this day, I choose to celebrate her everyday by walking in the legacy she left for me. My siblings and I joke around a lot, and we said wow, we saved a lot of money in one year from not buying gifts for MommyHahaha too soon, too soon, oops. Being that the three girls came first, my mother made sure she showed us how to be a mother, wife, God-fearing, nurturer, believer, provider, supporter, disciplinary, teacher, fighter, etc. She made sure her girls were prepared for the future. So, Happy Mother’s Day Mommy. I love you dearly.

So, this post is to celebrate my two best friends, sisters, Clarine and Crystal. Happy Mother’s Day to the mothers of my three returnable children Ava, CJ, and Caleb! Thank you God for our close bond, love, support, admiration, friendship, I don’t take it for granted. I appreciate the two of you, we all have our own bonds and that’s what makes it so special because I love you both the same. My left and right, the front and back, and I pray that God allows us to one day share our talks in motherhood. Mommy is so proud!!

11049448_10156195857330043_3141146247102356275_n Clarine, thank you for being the best big sister that anyone can have. You are selfless, reliable, loyal, loving, strong-minded, outgoing, etc. I am so proud of the mother you are to Ava, watching you figure out motherhood has been a pleasure, it is so natural especially since you had five practice kids. I love you and thank you for being my life-long support, thank you listening to me, thank you for correcting me when I get an attitude, thank you for paying my phone bill in college for 4 years, thank you for that money from you know when (haha), thank you for our friendship (two black eyes, I still love you), thank you snitching on me to Mommy (more beatings), thank you for taking the blame (wink, wink), thank you for blackmailing us all the time, thank you being the first lesson on what to do, what not to do with our parents, and most importantly thank you for being there for me through this journey. You were the first person I called when I found out, (your reaction was initial shock) you have been a motivator (to say nicely), a surgery buddy (we got surgeries on our neck same side one day apart), and much more. Mommy is proud of her namesake, what you do for Ava is what Mommy did for you before, I came along. Thank you for all that you do for our family. I love you so much, I am happy to have you as someone I admire and one day ask for motherly advice. Thank you for allowing me to help raise your prized possession.

 

 

21515_10207116721409625_4481525735134786022_n

Crystal, thank you for being the best fake conjoined twin sister that I could ever ask for. You are selfless, emotional, sweet, caring, loving, kind, outspoken, etc. I am extremely proud of the mother you are to your own fake twins, Corey Jr. and Caleb. I find joy in watching you navigate through motherhood, especially since Clarine and I used to do everything for you. This is the first year in a while in which you were not pregnant, hahaha Thank you for being caring and thoughtful, thank you for showing me what it is to be a wife, thank you for being the person I learned to protect (call me the Boxer), thank you for being attached to me until you got married, thank you for being the worrisome sister, thank you for being my party and dance partner (Rider/Rutgers turn up), thank you for taking my clothes and doing my makeup, thank you for editing and proofreading my papers, thank you for your strength during your back to back pregnancies, thank you for allowing 2014 to be filled with Crystal events and most importantly thank you for supporting me. I remember your reaction after telling you the news, I had to reassure you that God has a plan. Mommy is so proud of you, you have that same relationship with your boys as she did with hers. I love you so much, you are doing an excellent job navigating motherhood with two small children. Thank you for entrusting me to be Caleb’s godmother (after constant persuasion).

Happy Mother’s Day to all of my sisters, aunts, cousins, friends, cancer warriors, cancer survivors, surrogate mothers! God has blessed you with the gift of life, motherhood, love, sacrifice, nurture, strength, grit to raise productive people in society. Continue to embrace the love, I hope you feel the love reciprocated today. Be blessed & enjoy! 10592955_10154497792055043_5369534910029129652_n